Match Reports

Combined Supers/ Masters v Mandurah Makos

It was a beautiful day for our first (and last) combined Supers-Masters Game! Or maybe it was a Masters-Seniors game…against their Supers with a dash of Masters. Also a great week to welcome back Tony Two Fingers, everyone keen to see him back on the oval.

In the first quarter the score was 0-0 and a defensive battle till the end. The game was very evenly played, mostly in the middle and that was without a ruckman. Irish decided to wear his cement shoes, he couldn’t win a tap to save his life. Uni and Wall were great on the wings, getting loads of possessions – just not quite sure what they did with them….? There was great pressure from both sides, but still no score. Good news is Bassie may have broken the Vets tackles record for a game in this quarter alone. Seems like there was more than one Tayles running around, he was everywhere! But then he went down – and when he went down, so did the Vets.

In the second quarter without Tayles in the game, Brentwood kicked about five goals to our zero. Important to note that they did have the wind at their backs – it came out of nowhere, clearly not there in the 1st Q. We had the ball loads, but we just decided to kick it to our opponent or run halfway down the field without kicking or handballing it (ahem…. Wally). Felt bad for the backs as they played pretty good all day, but you can only do so much. Brentwood had the ball in their forward 50 for about 80% of the quarter, holding up strong for the most part. BP had the spoil of the game and was a prime candidate for the golden fist. Running his man down, BP jumped up at just the right time (or did he?) and the ball hit him square in the back. Dozer was 1 on 2 or 3 a few times during this quarter and clearly was not very pleased about it. He sure gave everyone a spray when
he came off. The neighbours across the way said that was the highest count of c-words they heard in a 30 second slot in years. Would love to give a few shout outs for the forwards, but the ball just didn’t make it down there.

The third quarter showed some improvement after a rousing Big V halftime talk resulting in 1 goal for each team. Once again the wind advantage Brentwood had in the 2nd Q disappeared for us in the 3rd. Big V made the call of the game to move Irish where the ball was not and put Cogs in the ruck. This change meant Plonk, Bassie and Brock could finally dominate. The rest of the game Wembley won the clearance battle, not sure that helped us though. Marcus was also coming up the field to help out Wally on the wing from his forward flank spot. Brocky boy had our only goal and therefore a front runner for the best goal of the game. He snapped it from deep in the pocket on the run – not sure he could do that again if he tried. Sarge was his trusty self – slow as heck but still got the ball loads. Maybe the opposition doesn’t bother putting anyone on him – would you if you were the
opposing coach and hadn’t seen him play before?

Fourth quarter came along and long story short: we are old and they are not. Not sure how many goals were kicked, but stopped the count at 5 or 6. Nole had a beautiful intercept mark and decided anything Wally can do he could do better – he’d likely still be running if the umpire didn’t stop the play. Have a bounce already, Wally and Nole. Bryn must have forgotten about the speech he gave us a couple weeks ago about tackling – but that’s ok because I’m pretty sure he didn’t give up one mark the whole game. Burgo, Pipes and Tits were the only supers left on the field and you could tell because they were the only ones still running hard and marking up their players. Did I mention that the wind was in our face again this quarter? Dan C is normally a good forward option but sad to see the ball not getting there very often. Sammy was near our back-fifty a couple times…was he lost? Guess he was bored with the ball not getting past our half of the field. Thanks for helping out Poobah – one of the few to hit a target. Shane-o was on the list for the game but not sure why he did not play – rumour has it he rolled his ankle in warm up. Surely that’s not true. They physio was overheard saying something about someone being a soft cock – may or may not be related…

Still was a good day out and a fun game against a (much) younger team. As you can see, no mentions of Tony Two Fingers, he may have lost a step or two so for now he is downgraded to Tony One Finger. Nole – a word of advice – maybe set down the empty one before you start a new one, or we’ll have to fit you with a bib. Oh yea and Bassie with another tackle. Some scouting notes from Sarah inspired this write-up:

• Plonk wouldn’t pass it to wide open Bassie.
• Sarge got out jumped.
• Pooba had a nice mark (might have gotten the name wrong).
• Is Irish going to lose every ruck tap?
• Bassie got tackled despite him flailing about.
• BP chooses to wear ankle socks.
• Dozer came off cussing like a sailor. Calm down.
• Awesome mark by Sarge then kick to Irish which… did not result in a goal.
• Good kick by Uni. (When asked for detail, she says I don’t know just everyone yelled “good
  kick Uni!”)
• BP tried to take a mark with his back.
• Wally ran so far without bouncing-isn’t that illegal?
• It was a good game not to keep score.

– Chris “Bassie” Bassett

Seniors v Rockingham Rams

With the season inevitably taking its toll, the elite (last ones standing) amongst the Wembley seniors crew unselfishly chose footy ahead of the Avon Decent, descending instead onto the hallowed Des
Penman Reserve on a fine, albeit breezy August Sunday morning to take on the highly fancied Rockingham Rams.

So severe has been the attrition that a good number selflessly chose to warm up playing the Supers/Masters Combo game and making the trek from one end of the facility to the other in time
proved a challenge. In fact, Brynna’s bag failed to make it.

Following the usual chaotic pre match rabble, Seniors safety protocols saw 36 old bastards crammed onto an oval the size of a twister mat equipped with Auskick porta posts in readiness for the starting
siren.

Q1

The first quarter was a brisk affair, highlighted when Poobah marked strongly in defence and a chain of possessions saw Wattsie mark in the goal square and score (oh yeah, not a goal though). Louie was active and created opportunities before Irish was dangerously tunneled and deservedly received a free. His disposal indicated that he may have been injured more than first thought, but he bravely soldiered on.

Simmo took a turn in the ruck and plucked the ball spectacularly, dashing down the field at pace before the whistle blew. Bounce called back….. soooo disappointing. In a classy highlight, Irish then took a one-handed mark and unselfishly handballed 25 meters to Wattsie who flew into goal and scored (a goal this time!).

As the one-minute warning signs came out, BOM elected to shut the game down by fiercely mounting an opposition player. The move was deemed dangerous and a free was given as quarter time was called.

Q2

The opening bounce of the quarter saw ruckman Irish stand motionless, watching the umpire throw up the ball and the opposition tap it uncontested. Bizarre as this may seem, the ball went straight to Jimmy who ran at full pace into goal. Maybe a touch of genius? Who knows, but must be worth trying again.

This was followed up with one for the highlights package, as Eppo roved the ball, kicked to Space  who in turn found BOM on the run. See, it CAN be done!!

After running amok in usual style, Wal unfortunately became aware of his hamstring and called time. At least it appeared that we had interchange depth for the rest of the game.

With Wembley dominating the quarter and hunting in numbers, Louie gave away a kicking in danger free among three team mates, with Sarg being awarded the free. A first time for everything.

Muz copped a nasty blow to the back and with no interchange available relocated to the forward pocket. No rest however, as he was immediately in the thick of it, brushing off a tackle and getting it to Mikey E who brilliantly dodged and weaved before kicking a great goal.

The remainder of the quarter featured a great grab from Eppo and some wonderful warrior like defensive work from Brynner who don’t argue, don’t disagree, and don’t disputed his way to half time.

Half Time

Half time saw missed opportunity for cohesive strategy as Newboy spruiked his PhD in tactical Aussie Rules theory to a sea of blank looks, and Sarg clarified everything speaking in tongues at 200 decibels.

Q3

The third quarter saw Draggers on fire, featuring in plenty of action. A highlight was a slick handball to Poobah who sent a long and perfectly weighted kick just over the heads of defensive opposition to a waiting injured Muz who goaled.

Bryn featured again with a run for the ages finishing with a windy handball. As it happened, the ball was recalled 100m back but the spectacular 90% of the footage will be replayed in many a motivational collage.

BP rebounded a number of times in his debut a legitimate Senior and AJ as usual mesmerized the opposition with raking left foot kicks.

Q4

The fourth quarter started with a bang as the centre bounce hit out was cleanly grabbed by BOM at full tilt. Tragically the subsequent flurry of action saw Mikey E suffer debilitating hammy strain.

Wattsie featured a number of times in the quarter, on the end of a beautiful BP bullet, marking from a chain of kicks from BOM to Draggers to Poohbah, and finally, somewhat humorously, being called
for a throw by an umpire 100 metres away. Sarg vociferously objected to this, issuing a venomous tirade at the umpire. Were there a card system, Sarg would have been served more colours than seen during pride round.

Jimmy was playing like a man possessed, both out of the centre and marking inside 50. As the game drew towards its end, Sarg somehow, after his previous shameful display, managed to talk the umpire into a free kick 20 metres out from goal. He missed, showing all and sundry that even at our level, the footy gods are watching.

A final cherry on the cake was AJ spearing a major as the siren blew.

Despite the Rams coach claiming a number of missed 50 metre penalties in the closing minutes, Wembley clearly took the points and now sit comfortably somewhere on the ladder.

–“Super” Mario