Match Reports

Round 8 (16th July 2023 – The Missing Masters Edition)

Supers v Hammond Park

The build up for the game started in typical fashion with a stellar session on the training track and farmer Bassie rounding up the heard to secure numbers to take on the mighty Hammond Park on their local turf.

The school holidays, early games and grandma birthdays threw a few spanners in the works to secure numbers across the board for all Wembley teams, but nonetheless the Calvary arrived to lock horns with the opponents on a cracking sunny Sunday.

Throughout the day there was lots of positive talk and that of the negative variety. The negative started early in the form of Higgsy jinxing Marcus who decided to put his hand up for the masters and pull a hammy in the first 2 minutes of the game. With limited personnel it wasn’t the ideal start to the game the supers were hoping for.

Quarter 1 – Pat Benatar: All Fired Up

The game kicked off with the local DJ Hammo P setting the scene with All Fired Up which put wind in the sails of the travelling Wembley Supers who won the toss and elected to kick with the southerly. Craig provided silver service out of the guts to the silky hands of Brock whose class with the footy almost outmatched his verbal antagonising of the opposition.

The delivery into the forwards provided ample opportunities to get on the score board early which was capitalised on by the stalwart in Sarge, who coming off the highest goal scorer against the Whalers, wanted to prove to the media storm that it was not a once off affair.

The human cannon ball BP put his head over the footy countless times leading to well deserved free kicks and setting up an opportunity for Ross to get in on the scoreboard action. It was also great to see Adam in a change of scenery getting up forward and secure a 10 possession first term along with plenty of forward 50 pressure acts intimidating opposition (source: Brad Russell).

Quarter 2 – Jax Jones: Where Did You Go

After pack marks, multiple shots on goal and plenty of lip, Sarge thought he deserved a chop out as we switched ends to kick into the breeze. With every loss comes an opportunity which saw Wembley blooding Johnno (apologies if I got the name wrong) who came down to help provide an option up forward and a Ron Burgundy styled stash to match.

Despite loathing the fact of being down back, Plonk was absolutely everywhere stemming the flow of the multiple inside 50 attempts and when they managed to get it over the formidable Wembley back, we had the O’Leary duo crashing the packs allowing the speed of Chidgzey and Alex to mop up and rebound the ball. The back 6 spearheaded by Dol and Ben O’Leary created a very hostile environment down back which had the opposition shirking at each and every contest and I don’t blame them.

Bassie with more injections than years on this earth managed to defy the odds and play through an achilles, calf, hamstring, lower back, upper neck injury in the guts to keep the heat on the Hammond Park midfield and create an arm wrestle until the siren sounded and DJ Hammo P brought us into half time with Blink 182: What’s My Age Again?

Quarter 3 – Survivor: Eye of the Tiger

The second half saw us head back with the wind and low and behold, Lazarus made an appearance with Sarge returning up forward after his second quarter siesta. The Wembley team were keen to make amends after the second term which was illustrated by a change in gears with Gus breaking open the midfield, Crackers providing a strong presence off the square and supply out of the backline, and Dahmen “I don’t kick goals” Higgs finding himself up forward claiming two superb snags for the game.

Uni provided plenty of leading options up forward and silky possession below the knees to make up for some sub-par delivery from Danners and the Wembley runners were coming, as Dean Lewis puts it, “in waves” to set up goal scoring opportunities (Source: DJ Hammo P).

A single-handed effort by Gus on the wing against 3 Hammond Park opponents had him bounding down open grass, evading attempted tackles, and was about to finish with goal of the year until the selfless act of squaring to Sarge at the top of the square was undertaken. Thank G.O.D that the job was finished off and the 0-point goal was secured for Wembley.

Quarter 4 – Dropkick Murphys – I’m Shipping Up To Boston

As the bagpipes roared out of the DJ Hammo P speakers and entering the fourth term, you could see Irish grow another foot taller. Moving the magnet board around Irish put himself one out in the forward ready to throw his claim on the arm wrestle of the game, “just F&*%ing get it to me and I’ll do the rest” was heard screaming from the north end of the Hammond Park oval. If it weren’t for the Gail force winds, we may have seen what could have been from the great man but similar to the second quarter, the ball found itself stuck in the forward half for Hammond Park. Despite Wembley’s best efforts and even Danners trying to take out the junior umpire, we were left licking our wounds and conceding the last term.

Overall, a cracking day for footy and played in great spirits. Looking forward to reliving the first half of the footy calendar at the event on Friday night pub-crawling through Subiaco.

For those curious please find below official player stats for Adam Williams courtesy of Brad Russell:

Disposals	Kicks	Handballs	Marks	Tackles	Inside 50s	Fantasy Points
42	27	15	7	10	8	204

– Reporter: Luke “The Big Freeze” Daniher

 

Masters v Hammond Park

The day consisted of an arm wrestle which followed the wind. In the end the opponents got the better of us. The end

– Reporter: Marcus “I think I’ll stick to lawyering” Easthope

 

Seniors v Mandurah Makos

On arriving at the treeless plain that is Hammond Park, and parking some 750m from the ground I could only think the good folk who are the town planners of that barren wasteland decided that two footy ovals only needs a handful of car bays, I walked into what was seemingly a 96fm hot hits music marathon, with the dulcet tones of Barnesy, Farnsey and then Aussie Crawl belting out of the mega sound system. Wtf! Were we in a 1980’s timewarp?

I was glad to find out we were playing on the second ground furthest away from the boom blaster, and at least have a chance to hear the words of super coach Wattsy, let alone think.

And what words he spoke! “You know where your playing, its on the board”. Genius. And then just before we ran (walked) out on the ground – Wattsy opines: “This week we have the triangle play – the triangle of … excellence up front in Slarkes, Magic and [your scribe for the week]”. And boy did this confuse me. First of all I’m thinking it’s got something to do with the Chicago Bulls offence of their 3- peat in the ‘90’s – but then for some reason and don’t ask me why – all I can think of is Woody Harrelson’s recent Cannes film festival winning and Oscar nominated film Triangle of Sadness. For those who have seen the film – confused is an understatement.

With these thoughts going through my mind, the ball is bounced (aka thrown up), Moose gets the first of about 85 taps down to our guys and a chaos ball (I think it was from Mikey E) is sent deep into our forward line. Your scribe swoops on the ball, shimmies, and proceeds to burn at least half the team who are waltzing through the 50m arc looking for a handball and an early shot on goal. I saw Slarkey, Magic, Space, Matty, Mario, I think I even saw Simmo all alone looking for a quick one when I turned onto the trusty left and snapped it, as luck had it, straight onto the chest of super coach Wattsy standing alone in the goal square. There were a few snide comments and dirty looks I admit, but you can’t blame me for wanting to give one off to the super coach early! It was definitely a pass and not a hungry shot! And what a move by Wattsy to bring himself into the game deep in the forward line. Always thinking!!

Bang, one goal to the good guys.

The rest of the first quarter was an arm wrestle between the half back lines, with both sides not really wanting it kick it past the arc and deciding to go the long way home via the boundary line. Again this reminded me of the first 30 mins of Triangle of Sadness (i.e. not much going on) – and at this point Super Coach Wattsy’s words were still ringing in my ears. Or was that a bit of Run to Paradise, I’m not sure.

My cheerful Mako opponent then says to me “Is that Prindy out on the wing – it can’t be – how old is he??”, to which I of course replied – “That’s him – he’s having another great season”. And no truer words were said – as Prindy tore up that wing all day, dominating so much that the Super Coach had to move him onto the ball.

Fortunately the stiff breeze in the second quarter saw our boys kick long to the Triangle, and I lost count how many sailed over my head through the big sticks. Any slight Mako press forward was swiftly met by the resolute backs as always marshalled by the selfless Selfy, with Brynna, Longy, Youngy, Simmo, AJ, Super Coach and BP (in his third game for the day no less) all resolute in defence and having a day out. The third quarter was more of the same pummelling of the Makos by the Wembley lads. Magic took it on himself to demonstrate to the boys his commitment to ‘run through the opposition’ by literally running straight through one of their better players with his laser commitment and focus on the ball. Fortunately his hard headedness prevailed and the other bloke headed off with a sore noggin, and with a quick shake of his Magic was back to running amok on the half forward line.

The final quarter started like many a seniors last quarter with most of the team hoping this was in fact the end of the game. A few lazy snags by the boys and some costly misses by yours truly saw us comfortably controlling the play. I must apologise though for smothering Matty Franklin’s shot at goal (that admittedly bounced through), but you did kick it directly at my head from close distance.

All in all – another great game of Wembley footy in the sunshine, and as the Super Coach said in his wrap up speech – even better – no injuries! Well played boys, a great day out.

– Reporter: Ian “Smothers” Booth