Match Reports

Supers v Northern Warriors

The supers welcomed a bevy of fresh-out-of-the-oven recruits to what felt like an oven for the first game of the season. It was Warriors though that made a red hot start and applied the heat on Wembley from the get go.

It took until the second quarter for Wembley to start firing but then Brock and Tails (B variety) torched the Warriors midfield with a hot streak of centre clearances that resulted in quick goals and set the game alight.

Tails (L variety) slotted multiple goals on his Wembley debut while Ryan and Rosey both repeatedly blazed away from halfback to setup attacking opportunities.

Stunningly, the speed and temperature of the game continued to rise, reaching a full boil frantic pace of circle work in a low scoring final quarter.

While Wembley were unable to cook up a win it’s fair to say everyone left the field feeling well (and truly) done.

Special mention to Milesy who inexplicably managed to earn himself a free kick by throwing the ball to his opponent running at the goals.

And finally the ump who was nearly KO’ed by a hurried attempt at a clearing kick that he copped flush from point blank range.

Craig “El Capitano” Earl-Spurr

Masters v Northern Warriors

Well boys, the first game was finally here and at some stage I think I remember someone mentioning something about how hot it was last Sunday….. Rather than produce a great display of football, I say we produced the driving force behind what can only be described as “The Best Summer Holiday Album in the world… Ever! Check out each players favourite summer tune below….

Mike Rowney – Heat of the moment – Asia
Mike never meant to be so bad to you
Play on, I said that I would never do
One look from you and I would fall from grace
And that would wipe the smile right from my face

BP – In the summertime – Mungo Jerry
In the summertime, when the weather is high
BP can stretch right up and touch the sky
When the weather’s fine
BP’s got women, he’s got women on his mind
Have a drink, have a drive
Go out and see what you can find

Jimmy – Hot for Teacher – David Lee Roth
I thinks of all the education Jimmy missed
But then his homework was never quite like this

Sarge – Hot blooded – Foreigner
Hot blooded) I’m a little on the inside
(Hot blooded) You’re way out wide
(Hot blooded) Looks like you might cry
(Hot blooded, hot blooded) Just go get the stitch over your eye

Dozer – The heat is on – Glenn Fry
Oh-ooh-oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh
Full Back caught up in the action, I’ve been looking out for you
Oh-ooh-oh-oh, oh-ooh-oh-oh
Tell me, can you feel it?
Tell me, can you feel it?
Tell me, can you feel it?
The heat is on

Thackers – Hot n’ cold – Katey Perry
Chris changes his mind
Like a girl changes clothes
Yeah you, PMS
Like a bitch
I would know
And you over think
Always speak
Cryptically
I should know
That you’re no good for me
‘Cause you’re hot then you’re cold

Marcus – Sun is shining – Bob Marley
Sun is shining, the weather is sweet, yeah
Make Marcus wanna move his dancing feet now
To the rescue, here I am
Want you to know, y’all, can you understand?
here i am

Cogs – Hot in the city – Billy Idol
Cause when a long-legged lovely walks by
Cogs didn’t see the look in their eye
Then you know that it’s
Hot in the Midfield, hot in the Midfield tonight
Tonight

Pistol – Cover me in Sunshine – Pink
I’ve been dreaming of open spaces
I’ve got so much time to kill

Just imagine Pistol fumbling
I know some day he will
And even if it’s far away
Get me through another game
Cover me in sunshine
Shower me with good times

BOM – Hot in here – nelly
Give that man what he askin ‘for
Cuz BOM feel like bustin’ loose and I feel like touchin’ you
And can’t nobody stop the juice, so baby tell me what’s the use
It’s getting’ hot in here (so hot)
So take off all your clothes
I am getting’ so hot, I wanna take my clothes off

Joffa – I’m on fire – Bruce Springsteen
Hey little man, is your backman home?
Did he go and leave you all alone? Mhmm
I got a bad desire
Oh, oh, oh, Joffs on fire

Irish – Drop it like it’s hot – Snoop – Irish
When the balls in Irish hands ma
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot
Drop it like it’s hot

Simmo – You are the Sunshine of my life – Stevie Wonder
Simmo must have known the backs were lonely
Because he came to the rescue
And I know that this must be heaven
How could so much love be inside of him?
Whoa, whoa
Simmo’s the sunshine of my life, yeah

Plonk – Walking on Sunshine – Katrina & the waves
I used to think Plonkey you loved me, now I know that it’s true
And I don’t want to spend my whole life, just waiting for you
Now I don’t want u back for the weekend
Not back for a day, no no no
I said baby I just want you back and I want you to play

Brock – House of the rising sun – The animals
There is a house way down in Osborne Park
They call the Rising Sun
And it’s been the ruin of many a poor boy
And Brock I know you’ll be one

Uni – Island in the sun – Weezer
On an island in the sun
Uni will be playing and having fun
And it makes him feel so fine
he can’t control his brain

Gavan – Burning love – Elvis
Your kicks lift me higher
Like the sweet song of a choir
Gav light my morning sky with Pony tail style
With burning love
I’m just a hunk, a hunk of burning love (ah)
Just a hunk, a hunk of burning love (ah)

Bassie – American life in the summertime – Francis Dunnery
Ooooooooooh dadadada da
Bassie left home, to seek his fame.
Small town boy, the streets of W.A.
A day-time Father, in a night-time sand.
Acting cool, said he was a real man.
Couldn’t kick a footy, to save his soul.
Ripped off Mason Cox, said this game was his own.
Lo and behold, in another few days.
Five-Star-Dinner, that the Amazon pays.

Wally – Summer of 69 – Bryan Adams
Me and some guys from Wembley
Had a team and we tried real hard
Nankers quit and Scotty’s not married
I should’ve known we’d never get far
Oh, when I look back now
Those seasons seemed to last forever
And if I had the choice
Yeah, I’d always wanna be there
Those were the best days of my life

Coach Dan V – April sun in Cuba – Dragon
Dan’s tired of the footy life
Summer’s on the run
People tell me I should play
But ‘I’m a bit hamstrung
So, don’t try and hold me back

Ain’t nothin’ you can say
Coaches eyes on the big prize
And we got to go today
Take me to the April sun in Cuba (whoa-oh-oh)

Thank God for digital music – No need to nominate who was in the A side and who was in the B
side!!!

– Geoff “Setting the Standard” Ahearn

Seniors v Northern Warriors

It was a hot, humid sweltering morning that greeted the Wembley lot as they strapped their bits and slapped on the sunscreen. A long and hard pre-pre-season had made them hungry for the taste and smell of game day!

But, it wasn’t only just the first round of the 2024 season, it was also the start (or end) of a new Seniors’ coaching era.

The boys gathered round and the expectation was mildly high that the new coach was about to deliver a motivational speech to get the angry juices flowing. Was he a Ron Barassi, a Tommy Hafey or even a Mal Gregory Brown?

Turnes out he was clearly none of these. Perhaps a sniff of Simpson or Hardwick, with all this “How are we all feeling today?” and “Have a great time, but be fair and honest and share the love!”. Well, this went over like a micro-chipped Sherrin and the chaps disbursed to the centre of the ground before the coach could say “Now listen up!”.

The boys sojourned at the centre for the traditional intro by the Ump after a less than inspiring rev-up by the coach, however – they did introduce themselves and hugs all around to the Crocs. The Crocs having little to do with this, won the toss and with little deliberation decided to kick with the solar flare.

1st quarter

The Crocs surprisingly burst out the gate and set-up their first forward foray. However, the “Rock of Gibraltar” – Simmo, stood tall and immediately repelled the Croc offensive.

With the help of the formidable BP and running half-back Wal, the ball quickly moved forward and before you could say “Do something Irish!”, Joffa had scored the first Seniors major for 2024.

It was a fairly even tussle from there-on in, with the Crocs looking taller and meaner as the quarter wore on.

Down back, Wal continued to wind back the clock, attacking the ball and instigating a number of passages that resulted in coast-to-coast goals.

Up forward, Irish presented and presented again, doing what he does best – unintentionally bringing the ball to ground for Prindi, Muz and Joffa to swoop on and kick goals.

With free-flowing football on show, it wasn’t long before Irish himself hit the score board.

2nd Quarter

The mids fought hard to win the centre bounce with their reluctant ruck Selfie, combining with Sarge, BoM & Wattsie to set up plays for the forwards. BoM was on a mission and he didn’t disappoint!

Both Muz (in his first game back in 18 months and in 40-degree heat mind you!) and Jimmy busted the packs up forward and continued to hit the scoreboard.

Space hustled his way into the game, presenting and crashing a tackle, tapping the ball onto Sarge for a crack at goal of the day with a lovely gather and banana snap.

Simmo continued to dominate the backline, running the ball back out after every Croc incursion. The link-up around the ground was magic to watch, with Prindi and Wattsie both finding space on the wings.

However, the Crocs were having none of this and turned the screws on Prindi. After a series of linkages out of the Wembley back line, Prindi found himself hemmed in, weaving through some pretty heavy traffic. Just as he was run down, he released a precise handball to Mario flying down the boundary at great pace, who throw it onto the ole’ trusty and belted it through from his maximum range (about 20 meters).

This free-flowing footy was a joy to watch and the skill level at this stage was high. Again Wal, relishing his new and permanent Seniors’ role down back (I’ve ordered a magnet!), finished the quarter by setting up another coast-to-coast play from the back pocket and down the far boundary to make the Crocs pay.

3rd Quarter

The heat was now starting to take its toll on both sides and the skills were starting to wane a tad. However, the endeavour was still there! With eyes resembling a great white about to take out its prey, Bryn made a final desperate lunge on the goal line to save what looked like a certain Crocs goal. Now that was something!

The Crocs were fighting back hard and were hammering the Wembley backline.

At the other end, Joffa seemed to be everywhere and continued to score easily, even managing to incorporate his junior soccer skills.

The game was starting to get brutal, with Sarge receiving a nasty head knock and with the heat taking its toll on these vintage men, the legs were getting heavy. Mikey learnt all about it when kicking out, looking to deliver the ball to a leading Prindi. However, this didn’t quite come to plan as Prindi was not at Mikey’s expected location to receive it, i.e. 3 rows back under the tent with a martini expresso in his hand.

4th Quarter

The tireless Selfie decided enough was enough and finally relinquished his ruck duties. Instead, he rested down back and matched up against his usual two opposition forwards. The mids continued on their merry way with Bryn and Jimmy having a crack. And they didn’t disappoint, with Brynna getting the better of his man and some lovely tap work down Jimmy’s throat, who delivered his loot with pinpoint accuracy. BoM also kept the momentum going with some heavy tackling and clearances.

The sting was now going out of the game as the Crocs started to get a couple of late goals. The backline was kept busy with Youngie, after a cracking job all day mopping up the loose ball, running out of fingers to plug the hole in the dyke.

All in all a great day’s work and a very enjoyable game, despite the heat!

– Michael “Duo El Capitano” Ehlers